Time to Surrender

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Do you think we are all in control of our destiny? 

I have been pondering this question for quite some time and reflecting back on my own life. I’ve always been one for trying to make things happen – things I think are what I most need. Things that I think I want, only when I get them, realise that often I don’t care about them anymore. So then I go in search of the next shiny object to fulfil a sense of renewed purpose.

What I’ve come to understand is that we are always striving to achieve something but its really more about the journey, not the destination. For when we reach the goal, it may feel rewarding for a time but then we just want more. No matter what we have or what we aspire to be, it is never enough.

Perhaps this is just human nature.

However, as I’ve grown older I’ve become complacent. I’m not the person I imagined myself to be 20 years ago. So much has changed and I’ve grown in ways I couldn’t even have conceptualised back then. My circumstances have thrown adversity at me that I would never have expected, but I’ve come through it mostly unscathed. So obviously these lessons were meant for me. I didn’t consciously choose them, but my unconscious mind knew better because it contains a higher understanding that I’d not tapped into.

Although my mind constantly nags me to do more and be more so that I can make a difference in the world to at least some people, I’m tired of doing that. When I look back at everything that’s happened to me I know that I haven’t been in control at all. I’m just in the exact place I’m supposed to be whether or not I put any effort into it. Everything that’s happened is part of a bigger picture plan. Sure, we have free will, but I think it’s limited and only enough to have us believe that we are in control.

So I’ve decided its time to slow down and surrender. I don’t have to save the world if that’s not what I’m here for. I love to help people, it fills my heart and soul with joy to make a difference but I think I’m going to be more selective and not burn myself out trying to be everything to everyone. From now on I’m going to use my heart and body to feel what’s right. Follow my intuition alone. I know there is a guiding force behind everything I do so I’m going to stop fighting and just allow whatever is meant to happen to happen, because it’s going to anyway.

And you know what? It feels so liberating.