Time to Surrender

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Do you think we are all in control of our destiny? 

I have been pondering this question for quite some time and reflecting back on my own life. I’ve always been one for trying to make things happen – things I think are what I most need. Things that I think I want, only when I get them, realise that often I don’t care about them anymore. So then I go in search of the next shiny object to fulfil a sense of renewed purpose.

What I’ve come to understand is that we are always striving to achieve something but its really more about the journey, not the destination. For when we reach the goal, it may feel rewarding for a time but then we just want more. No matter what we have or what we aspire to be, it is never enough.

Perhaps this is just human nature.

However, as I’ve grown older I’ve become complacent. I’m not the person I imagined myself to be 20 years ago. So much has changed and I’ve grown in ways I couldn’t even have conceptualised back then. My circumstances have thrown adversity at me that I would never have expected, but I’ve come through it mostly unscathed. So obviously these lessons were meant for me. I didn’t consciously choose them, but my unconscious mind knew better because it contains a higher understanding that I’d not tapped into.

Although my mind constantly nags me to do more and be more so that I can make a difference in the world to at least some people, I’m tired of doing that. When I look back at everything that’s happened to me I know that I haven’t been in control at all. I’m just in the exact place I’m supposed to be whether or not I put any effort into it. Everything that’s happened is part of a bigger picture plan. Sure, we have free will, but I think it’s limited and only enough to have us believe that we are in control.

So I’ve decided its time to slow down and surrender. I don’t have to save the world if that’s not what I’m here for. I love to help people, it fills my heart and soul with joy to make a difference but I think I’m going to be more selective and not burn myself out trying to be everything to everyone. From now on I’m going to use my heart and body to feel what’s right. Follow my intuition alone. I know there is a guiding force behind everything I do so I’m going to stop fighting and just allow whatever is meant to happen to happen, because it’s going to anyway.

And you know what? It feels so liberating.

Road Blocks

Sometimes in life, things just fall into place, and other times they are just plain hard work. This often happens with relationships. You meet someone and have an attraction. You may even go out on a couple of dates. But then suddenly all kinds of road blocks start to appear. You have a special evening planned but suddenly there is an emergency at home you need to deal with or you have to work late. Then perhaps the other person has to go away on business and won’t be back until the day after you have to go somewhere. It just seems like the universe conspires to keep you apart. This is exactly what I think is happening when situations like this arise. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell you that you are making a bad decision and for your own benefit, helps to keep you from making a mistake by ensuring things are difficult. Of course, more often than not, we persevere anyway and then later down the track realise we should have listened to that guidance.

When something is right, there will be no obstacles. Even situations that appear to be impossible, suddenly work in your favour. You will find yourself in the same place at the same time with someone you’re destined to be with. You won’t have to try and manipulate a situation so you can be together. It will just happen naturally and you will be left wondering why it was all so easy and so perfect. These are the situations where you find yourself mouthing to nobody in particular “thank you” for bringing x, y, z into my life!

The same can happen with jobs. You go to an interview for what you think is the perfect job, but you get stuck in traffic and arrive late. Or the interviewer needs to re-schedule because they get sick at the last minute. Listen to your gut and if it doesn't seem right, heed the warning. It could save you a lot of time and frustration. The perfect job will be the one where everything runs smoothly. You connect immediately with the interviewer and leave with an inner knowing that you’ve found the right thing for you. Never underestimate the power of intuition.

We all have free will but I believe at the end of the day there is a bigger picture that we don’t immediately see. There is some degree of fate or pre-destiny at work. How many times have you looked back on a situation and thought about all the events that happened to get you to your desired outcome? There is no such thing as coincidence.

So if you’re experiencing any kind of doubt about a decision, or anything just seems too hard, then my advice would be to look elsewhere, even though you may want it really badly. In the long run you will find the right person or the right job or any other kind of life decision, and be comfortable and satisfied with what you get. And you will save an awful lot of time and disappointment in the process. Remember you choose the life you want before you’re born and you choose the people you want to share it with, so don’t waste time following a dead end path.